In case you weren’t aware, the strange relationship of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly looks to be on the rocks, and Megan let the world know with a bang. In one of the biggest and yet simplest “FU’s” in recent memory, she let the world know by unfollowing everyone except for the three people everyone knows Machine Gun Kelly hates.
And while this was an epic response, it got me thinking, if my wife and I ever did split up (don’t worry world, this is just an fun blog, I love her more than anything), who would she follow to get me all fired up, and likewise, who would I follow to twist the screws on her. So here you go internet, the “Megan Fox FU”, Sporks Version.
Who Would Lady Sporks Follow
- (Name Redacted): Girl From 3 Jobs Ago That I Hate – #1 on the list is easy, because I dislike this girl more than anything, she was a terrible roommate and co-worker who once lost my dog, broke our garage, knocked over a brick wall, and forgot to pay rent. If Lady Spork wanted to drop the automic bomb on our relationship, befriend this person.
- Bayley from WWE: She looks exactly like (name redacted) who’s #1 on the list so FU Bayley.
- Duke Basketball: This was a tough one because as a passionate Boston Sports Fan, all NY Sports Teams could be on the list, but as much as I love Boston Sports, UNC Basketball trumps them all and let’s be honest, Duke Fans are the worst. If Lady Sporks is ever looking for an exit, start cheering for Duke.
Who Would I Follow To Send an FU to Lady Spork
- Seattle Seahawks: As a diehard 49ers fan, if I ever wanted to show myself the door for the relationship, I just have to say something positive about the Seahawks and I’m gone. She won’t even visit the city during football season.
- Pete Carroll: See Above, she hates this man with a passion.
- Liam Hemsworth: Lady Spork is 1000% #TeamMiley and there’s no time for Liam in our house. Thank god Thor/Avengers came out before the split because otherwise I’m not sure we would’ve seen it, that’s how #TeamMiley she is!
There you have it, that’s the list. The codes to the Atomic Bomb if either of us wanted to deploy it. But luckily I love her more than anything and would never use this knowledge for evil.
