The 49ers have been cursed for a decade, and I am the one to blame.
Let me take you on a little journey to explain how we got here, and my plan to make it right.
The year was 2013. Vibes were at an all-time high. I believed I had single-handedly manifested the “Harbaugh Bowl” (my overconfidence is a major theme in this story), the Baltimore Ravens were +600 vs. my 49ers, and I was on my way to watch Super Bowl XLVII in the warm and comforting environment of a Las Vegas sports bar.
Smash cut to the actual Super Bowl. Devastation. Agony. A power outage. Martin Martinez loudly screaming in my face despite having no affiliation to the Ravens whatsoever.
It was supposed to be the best of times but it was truly the worst. At the end of the day, the one person I was happy for was Robby Yam – a true Ravens fan – and for Ray Lewis, I guess, if you set aside the alleged murder accusations.
But alas, my humility lasted about 3 days before I proclaimed to Robby in what I believe was his kitchen (an undeniably weird location and moment to choose to make this sort of proclamation) that “I was completely over it” – and that without a doubt – “The 49ers would go on to win 2 out of the next 5 Super Bowls.” That’s right. I didn’t declare that they would “win again someday” or that I was hopeful they “will manage to win one in the next 10 years” but that they would WIN 2 OUT OF THE NEXT 5.
Looking back, I was most likely using football as a way to cope with all the other issues going on in my life, I don’t know, I’ve never unpacked this specific moment with my therapist. All I can say for certain is that in that moment I was more confident than I had ever been about anything. So confident in fact, that I told Robby I would pay him a THOUSAND DOLLARS if I was wrong.
Now, as a side note, why I chose to open with a THOUSAND DOLLARS befuddles me to this day. In February 2013 I was making somewhere between $11.10 and $14.20 an hour. When we went to Bar Louie for $5 Bucket of Beer Wednesdays (5 dollars for 5 beers), I had to stare at the clock to make sure I didn’t close out my tab until my direct deposit hit at 12:01am to avoid an overdraft fee. Why in the world would I propose a 1-sided bet that was the equivalent of 1000 beers or 2 full paychecks?
Fortunately, none of that is Robby’s problem. That bet was 100% of my own creation. And boy, was I wrong. I was so very, very wrong.
After a devastating loss to the Seattle Seahawks in the NFCC Game the following season, the Niners records were as follows:
2014: 8-8 (3rd in division)
2015: 5-11 (4th)
2016: 2-14 (4th)
2017: 6-10 (4th)
2018: 4-12 (3rd in the division… this one is kind of embarrassing for the division tbh).
Over those 5 years, I said the Niners would win 2 Super Bowls.
We didn’t even return to the playoffs.
In one of those 5 years, we won only 2 GAMES – the worst season in Franchise history!
Finally, after multiple coaching and front office changes, the 49ers landed John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan and things started to look up. We started winning games again. The fan base started getting energized. I started to think to myself that perhaps, we were not cursed. Perhaps, we had a chance of winning a championship again soon.
Over those next 5 years, the 49ers made it to 4 out of the 5 NFC Championship Games AND advanced to 2 Super Bowls – as favorites nonetheless – the exact number of Super Bowls I said we would win!
Spoiler alert: the 49ers did not win those 2 Super Bowls. And not only did they lose both of them, they lost in spectacular, heartbreaking fashion – a blown 4th quarter lead in 2020 and a completely improbable 4th down conversion allowed in OT in 2024.
Unfortunately, the seasons that immediately followed the SB losses were just as painful: injuries, contract drama, emotional distress within the locker room, and even losing access to the stadium and practice facilities (COVID season). Our combined record in those 2 seasons was 12-21. Fewer total wins than the SB qualifying seasons, and nearly 5x the number of losses.
So as I sit here on the verge of another NFL season coming to an end without confetti, I can’t help but reflect on how my actions have led to the last 12 years: 7 NFC Championship Appearances. 3 Super Bowl Appearances. Dozens of Pro Bowlers. 0 rings. Pain.
Now, you may be thinking, “Surely you are kidding, this has to be Kyle Shanahan’s fault.” I too like to blame Kyle and really anyone in the front office from time to time. But the fact is, getting to the Super Bowl is extremely difficult. Hell, getting to the NFC Championship game is extremely difficult (the Packers, Lions, Rams and Buccaneers are still trying and failing to get back there). Yet Kyle has managed to accomplish this 4 times in 5 years, giving the 49ers a realistic chance at winning a Super Bowl. So, as much as I would love to pass the buck it is time for me to take accountability.
It is very likely, almost certainly, my fault. But good news 49ers fans.
THIS. ENDS. TODAY.
Robby, if you are reading this (and I can’t imagine you wouldn’t be, since I sent this link directly to your inbox with the subject line “You should read this”), please – send me your venmo. Let me right this wrong, release myself from this agony, and lift the curse I placed upon this historic franchise. Let us allow the 49ers to complete their hero’s journey with a Super Bowl Victory in Levi’s Stadium next year.
Who knows, maybe settling this debt can help lift whatever curse is holding back the Ravens and Lamar too, I don’t know, that’s up to the NFL Gods to decide.
Thank you for your consideration and I am so sorry this took a dozen years.
